My friend Jade has been urging me to post a new blog, so here it is. Here is my blog. My angry, whiny, over sensitive blog. ENJOY IT! I know I will. Believe it. Oh? What’s that? You say you sense bitterness and hostility in my words? DAMN RIGHT YOU DO!! Damn right! You remember that one time i said i don't like to cuss to my readers. I changed my mind. What i want to write is what i want to write. No one is making you read this right now. The end.
So now you must be wondering, “What has made my dear Maria write in such a manner? What could possibly be wrong?” Well, first of all, back off. I’m not your dear Maria, so just shut up. Second of all, what could possibly be wrong? Just the same damn thing that is always wrong, I guess. No one cares about how I feel. No, wait, let me rephrase that: No one in my FAMILY cares about how I feel. Did I qualify that enough for you? Good.
So what’s got my knickers in a knot? Bugs. Simple as that. You see, I have an irrational fear of bugs, Silverfish and Spiders especially, but just bugs in general. Because of this fear, I am absolutely terrified whenever I find a bug anywhere near me. I am equally scared of killing them as well. I believe I have told you all before that my room is Silverfish friendly, yes? Well, I asked my mom about a week ago to call the exterminator, and she did. He came and sprayed today. So, naturally, I was in quite good spirits when I came home from being downtown in the city all day.
We were all eating dinner, chatting and smiling about how we wouldn’t (hopefully) see any more Silverfish. In a state of felicity, I said, “I am so glad that they’ll be gone. Now I won’t have to sleep on the couch anymore.” Then my dad gave me this sort of smirk and asked, “You’ve been sleeping on the couch this whole time over a bunch of bugs?” So I replied that, in fact, I’d only been sleeping on the couch when I happened to spot a Silverfish in my room. Then he started to laugh and laugh. “Why are you so scared of them anyway? What can they possibly do to you?” he inquired, while chuckling at me. Then I was on the defensive and, not wanting to be ridiculed any longer, I gave him my honest answer while hoping that he would understand. “They can fall from the ceiling onto my bed—as always!” That put him over the edge. In a matter of moments, the whole dinner table--my FAMILY--was clutching their stomachs with laughter. All of them laughing at me. All of them cracking jokes and snide comments at me.
They couldn’t see it, but I was really insulted and just…hurt. Hurt by their lack of sympathy or, at the very least, sensitivity to my fears. Hurt that not one of them cared how I felt in that moment or, just, ever. So I stood up, making a show of cleaning off my plate so that they wouldn’t see the water begging to come from my eyes. ARGH!! They just wouldn’t stop! Joke after hurtful joke was made at my expense and when I turned back to the table they were all saying one after the other “Suck it up!” My father was giving me condescending instructions on how to kill a bug, my little sister was telling of how she once had to kill a spider for me because I was crying. It never ended.
“It’s called an Irrational Fear for a reason! I don’t know why they scare me so much, they JUST DO!” I wanted to shout, but I knew that if I opened my mouth I would start to cry and then my dad would smirk and say, “My god! Get a handle on your emotions.” (He always says that whenever I cry.) Just another example of them not caring. So, instead of listening to him say that, I just walked up here, ready to chew out the world.
I must say, I feel a bit better, though I’m not up to a level of emotion where I can go back down stairs yet. I think I will just play Sims for a while (that game is beast!). I like that game a lot. I’m thinking about getting Sims 3, but it’s slightly out of my price range. We’ll just have to see what happens, I suppose.
Sorry if reading this made you roll your eyes at my dramatic telling of what happened. If it did, well, I have nothing nice to say to you. I’m sorry but that [points to the top-ish middle-ish of my blog] is how I feel right now and if you don’t like it then take your reading eyes elsewhere. I don’t want to write for someone whom I can’t satisfy.
Thanks again for reading. I don’t know if anyone is reading this (besides Jade, that is), but if you are you have no idea how much it means to me. Really. Thank you.
Comments are better than being made fun of by your own family
Love,
Maria
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