One Sentence

My brother is an arrogant, inconsiderate, rude, narcissistic, manipulative bastard.

That is all.

Comments are better than being related to my brother (Really though, no need to comment on this. Haha.)

Love, Maria

No Tears For The Dead Today

Have you ever had something horrible happen and everyone around you was crying or in hysterics, and you just sat there calmly amid the ciaos? Have you ever been in the middle of a tragic situation and were frowned upon for taking the news in stride? Have you ever been looked at because you weren't crying, a look that clearly said, "You must be some heartless alien?" Well, today, I have.

My grandfather died yesterday. Yesterday was Memorial day.

I learned this news this morning (the day after Memorial day, of course.) while eating breakfast. My mom woke me up and told me that my father wanted to talk with me. I was worried, thinking of all the things I have done recently he might not approve of. My guesses went from him finding out about my obsession with Harry Potter to his reading and disliking something on my Bucket List (there are quite a few things on there to which he would object to, i'm sure.). Going downstairs, I heard him complaining to my mother about his teeth, whilst I made myself some cinnamon toast. Once I had sat down with my toast and mug of coffee, he began shifting around nearby papers and napkins, which alerted me to the fact that he was about to have a heart to heart with me on something. I was only slightly worried about being found out for something once I saw the look on his face. My little sister, Hayley, was sitting next to me eating her breakfast. As soon as he had told us the news, she was clearly struggling to hold in her tears. The very first thing that she asked was, "How did he die?" and that was obviously the very question my dad would rather not answer. "Well, Hayley, my dad was getting quite old..." Then my sister spouted off about twenty more questions, not unusual for a talkative seven-year-old, and my parents promptly answered them.

After he had enough with Q and A with my sister, my dad motioned to me to follow him outside. My sudden fear of being caught at something flared up again, but died down once he pulled out some chairs and went into more detail about what happened yesterday. My mother had come outside too, and both she and he were getting red eyed and emotional. Apparently, my grandfather didn't die... naturally. They were going on about how awful this was, and why they didn't want to tell Hayley, and all this stuff. I was sitting calmly in my chair, not a tear or emotion in sight. My dad and my mom did very poor jobs at looking in my face for any trace of sadness or tears or anything. Now i'm sure they think i'm a freak, haha.

Truth be told, while I loved my grandfather dearly, I am, in fact, not sad that he has passed away. It's unfortunate, but I'm not shaken. It's a bit odd that I'm not sad. I am surprised at my lack of emotion, I'll admit. Oh well. No tears for the dead today. The cool thing is that he died on Memorial day, which I think is really awesome. He, my grandfather, wanted to be cremated though, which I don't think is awesome. I'm actually kind of peeved at him because he had said that he didn't want a funeral service, so we aren't going to be having one. The one time I can attend a funeral and be a legitimate be a mourner, someone who really knew the person, and he doesn't want one! ARGH!

I probably shouldn't be talking about the deceased in that light, but whatever. It's still true. I want to throw him a funeral and then go to it.

Well, no other thoughts to share with you that I feel I can share with you.

COMMENTS ARE BETTER THAN DYING (Though, I wouldn't exactly know...)

Love,

Maria

P.s. I'll have my first book review up shortly. I've been putting off writing it, but I'll have it for you all soon, I promise.

New thing I am going to do on here...

Hello everyone! It's a lovely day today. The sky is grey-ish blue-ish, the birds are singing, and I, dear friends, am blogging! :D

I had an idea last night. Wow. Splendid way to start a paragraph, Maria. Yes, it's true. I actually thought last night. Hear the crowd gasp! Anyway, back to my thoughts--so I was thinking that I read quite a bit. I am always on the prowl for a good book and am regularly given a look of disbelief when I walk out of the library holding a stack of 7 or so books. The downside of reading a lot? You waste a lot of time reading books that end up being a load of rubbish. While I don't have a solution to this really, I do want to help the lot of you from this disappointing fate. It's always irritating when you start a book with high expectations and then discover it's mediocrity. What I have decided to do is this: every time i finish a book I will give you all a review of what I thought of it along with a Barnes & Nobel summary, a star rating of the book (by me) on a scale of 1 to 10, and a picture so you can be sure of what book I am writing about. Hopefully I will be able to keep this up :)

I very excited about this. Well, that's all I have to say for now. Thank you for reading!

Comments are better than reading a pointlessly stupid book

Love,

Maria

New Music!!! :)

I just wanted to very loudly point out that i have changed the music on the left of my blog here

<---

I CHANGED THE MUSIC PLAYLIST!!

There, now you know :D

Here is the playlist, in case you can't see it (i had a chick tell me she couldn't figure out how to see all the songs, so this is for you Vanessa ((fake name)). I hope this helps.):

1. Kill All Your Friends -- My Chemical Romance

2. Heart Shaped Box -- Nirvana

3. Wake Me Up When September Ends -- Green Day

4. Creep --Radiohead

5. The Bird And The Worm -- The Used

6. Soldier's Poem --Muse

7. All I Wanted --Paramore

8. Can't Get No (Satisfaction) -- The Rolling Stones

9. Kountry Gentlemen -- Family Force 5

10. Yellow Submarine -- The Beatles

By the way, I was going to post this last night, after my other post from last night, but it didn't work for some reason. When I tried to make the playlist again I completely forgot the music I had put on it other than the first song, so I ended up putting it on here now because I just now remembered the songs. Quite a bit of a hassle for a simple blog playlist but, hey, it's music and therefore it's worth it :)

COMMENTS ARE BETTER THAN MUSIC!! (Not true.)

Love,

Maria

That sleazy sexy beast at QuickTrip ;)

I’m pretty sure the title says it all. No? Well it differently whispers it all, yeah? A slow, seductive whisper. The kind of whisper only emitted from that greasy specimen of man (or woman, i guess, if you are a guy who's reading this...) who works at QuickTrip and always asks “is that all?” while shifting their eyebrows up and down, clearly proud of their ability to move their face so expertly. Yeah. That’s EXACTLY what my title is all about. Did you get that? Yes, no? Anyway! I am going off topic here.

Have you ever had a band that you absolutely adore and they won’t ever come to your area? Even worse, they will come to the state over but not your state (I don’t know if that’s actually a problem for some of you. For me it is. My parents don’t like me traveling with my friends without an adult, and almost all the adults I know, including them, would completely bring down the whole experience.). This happens to me constantly. EXAMPLE TIME! (<-- Imagine I sang that…because I did. I have a habit of saying ((and sometimes singing)) what I type out load.) A wonderful, and very famous, band named “Muse” is going to be coming close to my area very soon. Close to my area. Just close. They are coming to my state, but it’s a city that’s very far away from where I am, so (of course) I can’t go. This is especially irritating because I was going to take Jade to the concert for her birthday. BANG BANG! That was shot down right away. Another example is the artist “Regina Spektor.” She doesn’t even bother coming near me. Nope. She’s off and away from America. Thanks Regina! Great show, I’m glad you made sure I could see it!! Sarcastic? You bet!

Graveyards, cemeteries, and funeral burials; What do these things have in common (other than being generally splendid.)? I am going to be attending them on Thursday. Oh yes. I think we both know what’s happening here. Quite obviously I am letting you know ahead of time that I will be dead on Thursday. You smart person. Yes, it’s true. Life’s lost its luster (try saying THAT five times fast! I couldn’t do it.) for me. It’s going to be a white tie event and—This is not as funny as I meant it to be, so just forget about that dying thing. I’m going to procrastinate and die later ;) Thursday is the day that you go and mourn the dead or whatever. I don’t recall what the holiday is called at the moment, sorry. But the reason I am bringing up the fact that I will be hanging out in the cemetery is that I will be able to cross off an item on my bucket list: Read a book in a cemetery. Yes! Not only am I going to be chilling with a bunch of dead relatives but I will also be getting a thing on my bucket list done. MULTI-TASKING FTW! I’m just a little sad that Rosie can’t come with me though. Reading in a cemetery is on her list too, but, sadly, she is out of town. I JUST HAVE TO TELL YOU ALL THAT 'CEMETERY DRIVE' BY MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE JUST CAME ON, WHICH I FIND HILARIOUSLY COINCIDENTAL.

Speaking of Rosie—I miss her. She has no idea how much I love her. (She doesn’t read my blog, so I’m going to get really detailed and sappy right about now. Feel free to skip to the “Comments are better than…” part of my blog. Seriously, this is a major “Dear Diary” moment coming on. You might puke of love and emotions. Turn back now!! You have been warned. ) Rosie has gone to ______ for two weeks, and I now realize just how much I depend on her. She is my survival at parties, she helps me through dinner with my family, she listens to me for hours on end when I have to talk about my life and how wonderful/awful it is, she encourages me in my artwork and stands up for what I have drawn/painted when my parents question it, she keeps my temper in check, she tells me what looks good and what looks bad on me and supports me when I try something new with my look, she lets me shower her with the music I listen to, she stops me from saying things at the wrong times, she takes me on “frapiccino/movie excursions” when we both need to just relax, she lets me come into her room at 3AM and tell her whatever is on my mind, she holds my world together. I miss her so much. It’s really pathetic actually. Ever since she left I have spent nearly every minute of every day in her room, wearing her clothes (mostly just because mine were dirty…), texting her short messages even though I know she can’t text back—that’s how bad I’ve got it. It’s so sad. She left me her laptop, which I am using right now, and I get on it the moment I wake up. Leaving me her laptop was a huge shock, actually. She doesn’t let anyone use her laptop, it’s her most sacred possession, and before she left she said I could use it as much as I wanted but no one else could. I’m not sure if she meant it to be so sweet a gesture, she probably didn’t think about it like that at all, but it means a lot to me. Tonight was the worst night I’ve had so far with missing her and all. I had a really bad day at work today (I’m not going to go into that though because I would want to get really detailed with you and it would end up being really long and, most likely, boring.), and majorly screwed up in my boss’ eyes—personally I think my decision was a good one—and then, after talking with my mom about my day, she told me that he was regretting hiring Casey (my coworker) and I. My mom told me that he wasn’t sure hiring teenagers was a good idea. This made my day all the worse. I got onto Facebook and got onto chat with Jade. She let me complain but halfway through my short version or the story she had to get off. That was it. I needed—correction, need—to talk with Rosie so bad. I seriously began to tear up. Life sucks without her, plain and simple. There is no substantial Rosie substitute in this world. She’s a one-of-a-kind sister and the very reason they came up with the saying “Best friends forever.” She is amazing and I love her. I wish she would come home quickly.

With that embarrassing paragraph typed out, I will be leaving you all now. Thank you for reading :]

COMMENTS ARE BETTER THAN MUSE

Love,

Maria

Sweet revenge, Harry Potter style :3

I am blogging here today because two things have happened that both made me very mad, so mad that I feel the need to share my madness with you...and a bit of my revenge too.

The first thing that completely pissed me off is that my best friend Jade’s sweet sixteen party is coming up next month. I am super excited about it and have a pretty kick-ass present for her which I had to connive with her mother about a little bit (A very very little bit. The only thing her mom has to do with it was I called her and just had her confirm that Jade would like what I chose. Lol.). Anyway, so she sent out a message telling the invited guests when the party was and all the things that come along with an invitation. Well, I recently got a job working at a ball park, and, as it turns out, the day of her party is one of my work days. I wasn’t too worried though because I figured I could fix something up with my boss. It’s a ball park after all. He could easily call one of my coworkers to fill in for me. My job’s not hard. Sadly, my mom didn’t see it this way. I talked to her about the party and she said that she would not let me miss work. I get off my work at 8:15, so she said I could go to her party after my work. But if I do that then I will efficiently miss all the fun things at the party! I was really annoyed with my mom at this point. She just wouldn't budge! I suggested my sister Rosie work in my place, because she works there too, but my mom said she wouldn’t allow that. And now I have to miss more than half of Jade’s party which I have been looking forward to for quite some time now. ARGH!!!

The next thing that happened today that made me suddenly want to blog was as follows: I went downstairs, chipper and singing (I was singing “Yellow Submarine,” in case you were wondering.). I was going to get a cookie. I had been watching Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (I’m actually going to talk about this later on in this blog, I think, so remember that I’m mentioning this…) online but the movie had to load a bit more and I thought, “Hey! Why don’t I get a cookie while I’m waiting?” And that’s why I went downstairs. When downstairs, I discovered that my parents had planned my dad’s secretary, Jamie (fake name with the same first letter as her real name, yada yada yada. You know the drill.), would come over for dinner with her daughter Catlin who is my little sister’s best friend. I was a little bummed out because I knew that I would then have to wait a little while to finish my movie; Whenever we have company it is mandatory to stay downstairs at all times and be “hospitable and conversational.” Bleh. Still, I was going to have a cookie so everything was still fantastic in the land of Yellow Submarines :) As I went on my way to the pantry to snatch myself a delicious cookie, my song transformed from a Beatles original to a Maria extravaganza.

♪We all live in a yellow submarine!

A yellow submarine, a yellow submarine!

Oh, we all live in a yellow submarine!

A yellow subma-rine!!

Oh! I am a'spinning

A'spinning, a'spinning!

Yeah, I am a’spinning! Woo hoo!

I’ll get myself a cookie! ♫

At the last line my mom interrupted my opera solo and said, “No! No cookie. We are about to eat dinner.” I thought this was a supremely stupid reason to keep me from my cookie. Just one was not going to ruin my appetite, not that I ever have one anyway (I am notorious for never being hungry, ever.). “But just one Oreo—” “What did we say?!!” my father interrupted me, being sure to sound acutely angry with me, as always. Having both my cookie dreams and my pride crushed from being dictated by my parents so fiercely, I was put off with them both. They just had to push it. My mom ordered me to set the table for dinner, a chore I resent among the worst of jobs simply because I ALWAYS have to set the table and no one else ever gets asked to. My dad stopped me halfway and yelled at me because apparently we were actually eating outside and the table outside was already set anyway. Then I had grumpily said, “Well I’m eating inside,” keeping my place at the kitchen table set. And that’s when he pushed the envelope and drew me over the edge. “No you are not! You are going to eat outside with us just like everyone else!” He then told me to get an extra chair for outside. Have you ever been to blaringly furious that you started to cry because you just couldn’t get your emotions out? I was at that point. Not only were they making me work and miss half of Jades party (Which is ridiculous because I know I could easily have my friend Casey fill in for me at work. He’s mad at me because I sort of stole his job, so I know he wouldn’t mind doing mine because it's his favorite.), but they were making me eat outside too! I absolutely HATE eating outdoors. No. Hate is not strong enough of a word. I loathe it, I abhor it, I am repelled by it, I despise and detest it; there is not one person in my family who does not know this. My father knew what he was doing. So I went outside and set up the extra chair, trying to hold back my stupid tears. Then I stormed up the stairs like the emotional teenage girl that I am, screaming, “I have to wash my hair!” to my too cheerful mother who was singing for me to stay down with her.

So those are the two reasons that have fueled my longing to blog right now and share my anger with all of you. I know you all have been furious with your parents at one point or another, so I know you will understand. It’s this kind of treatment and consideration for my feelings, though, that makes me even happier and prouder of my next point: Harry Potter. All my life I (my siblings as well) have been forbidden to read and/or watch the Harry Potter series. Needless to say, I have always felt a strong desire to read and watch them because I wasn't allowed. It wasn’t until I was about eight years old that I genuinely wanted to know the stories, though. At that age I had been up late past my bed time (which was 9, so it was probably around 10:30…maybe. I don’t know. I could be getting these times all wrong.) and I was watching ABC Family. They were playing the second Harry Potter movie ‘Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.’ I had just turned on the tv so I didn’t know what was going on. I remember vividly though that the scene I was watching was the part where Harry is in the girls bathroom talking with Myrtle the ghost. At that age, it was the coolest movie I had ever seen. There was a ghost and she actually looked REAL! Holy cow, this was the best thing since they invented pop tarts!! (I really loved those when I was younger.) And then, while staring lovingly at the ghost girl on the screen who was currently moaning about someone throwing a book through her head (Ginny, she’s on to you!), my dad walked in. Crap. The tv was shut off, I was crying and grounded, he was livid, and I went to sleep dreaming about how unfair it was that I couldn’t see what happened next. Who had thrown the book at Myrtle? Why does she complain all the time? How did she die? What happens next?! Well, years later now, I said, “Screw it! I’m going to watch it anyway!” My older sister Rosie and I had both decided that we were going to read and watch the movies. She was going to read the books first, and I was going to watch the movies first. Mostly I wanted to watch the movies first because I STILL wanted to know what happened with Myrtle, but also because I have a wonderful little gift where it doesn’t matter if I watch the movie first or not, I still imagine the characters in the book as I want them to be. So there was no worry of the movies ruining the magic of J.K. Rowling's books. So here I am today, watching the most recent movie ‘Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.’ My opinion of them is that they are all wonderful movies; except for the one I had seen at age eight (the second one). Ironically, I liked them all except for that particular movie. I find it funny, actually. I just don’t like that one because I feel that the graphics on the snake at the end were really pathetic and it sort of ruined the whole movie for me. But all of them are extraordinary and I can’t wait for my books to come in at the library :D This is all made even sweeter because now my unknown act of rebellion is basically an unknown act of revenge on them for not letting me go to Jade’s party. Ha ha ha. I win!

Well, that’s the end of this blog. I’ll talk with you guys soon, perhaps.

Comments are better than Boggarts (psh! As if! I just have to say that, even though they are supposed to be really frightening, I think Boggarts are just about the coolest creatures ever! Them…and Dementors. I just LOVE them.)

Love,

Maria

My day: A Blog by Maria

My day can be described in about four different adjectives and emotions. It was lovely, annoying, sleepy, and euphoric. Now, may I have permission to explain each of these? Why thank you, Kind Sir or Madame :)

I shall go in order of when each adjective presented itself to me.

Sleepy. I am tiered. Last night I never went to sleep because I had to stay up all night and burn CDs. Why did I have to burn CDs, you ask? Well, my library has a 10 CD limit and I had CDs that were going to be leaving the next day. Ah! So I had to stay up and burn this music so I might get more music. Because I got next to no sleep, I was exhausted all day today. Ugh. Not sleeping wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for the fact that I have insomnia. For those of you who don't know what insomnia is, it is a thing (I'm not sure if it would be correct to call it a disease or condition, so for now it's "a thing") where no matter how much you sleep, it's never sufficient enough to recharge your body. You sleep restlessly. You don't get a lot if sleep. Yada yada. You get the point. Well, because of my insomnia I get very little sleep on a regular basis, so losing my sleep last night was just the icing on the cake :/

Lovely. This is in my list because of Jade. Wow, you know what? I just realized I talk about Jade ALOT on my blog. Whoa. Dear me, I hope I'm not turning into some psycho in love stalker. (Jade, it's not true, I swear. ...Or is it? Dun Dun Duuuuun!) ANYWAY. So it was lovely because I got to hang out with Jade at school. I was in a bad mood because of my loss of sleep and everyone was annoying the crap out of me, but she must be immune to my cranky tendencies and, unknowingly, she kept we from killing a few people. Pat yourself on the back, dear Jade. Good job ;)

Annoying. As I just said, I was really annoyed with my classmates today. Three exactly. Who? Let me tell you... Wesley, an arrogant pig who has pride and condescension just oozing from his pores. April, a spoiled brat who thinks she knows everything. Alice, a bitter sore loser who blames everyone and everything--except herself. Get over it people!

Now let me go into more depth on why they annoyed me so. Wesley. Not much explanation needed for him. Wesley makes it a point to be a know-it-all (even though he’s really not as smart as he likes to believe himself to be.) And we all know how annoying someone is when they are condescending towards you. April gets on my nerves constantly, that is one of the reasons we aren’t friends anymore, at least not according to me. You can’t have a friendship with someone if they constantly annoy you. Well, today April must have been hanging around Wesley too much because she had caught to Condescending Flu too. For every single class she would tell the teacher that the reason her test score is so bad is because she just got back from her family vacation and, thus, hasn’t done her school in a while. So I comment and say that she could have studied while she was on her vacation. Then she turns to me with this cocky “I know how it is and you don’t” sort of air, and says, “No, Maria, I couldn’t. I was on vacation.” April draws out the last sentence, as if she were talking to a deaf five year old boy with an attention span as long as his pinky finger. Completely fed up with her attitude, I haughtily tell her, “Yes, you could have studied, April! You simply chose not to.” I said this as slow as she had, enunciating every syllable. She puffs a proud laugh and shakes her head at me. “Yes you can, April. Every single vacation I go on I bring all of my school work AND get it done AND enjoy my vacation!” GOOD LORD!! There isn’t much I need to explain on Alice. The description says it all. Our school had organized a debate and Alice was my debating partner. I did not care whether I won or lost, which was good because we ended up losing (lol.). Alice, on the other hand, is extremely competitive and completely forgot her senses once we lost and were taken from the competition. She threw an absolute fit. Next thing I know, I’ve been sitting with Alice for an hour listening to her tell me in detail everything that I did wrong. And today, she decided to complain to the teacher about the whole thing. She was saying things like "the whole thing was a stupid idea," "the judges were unqualified and completely idiotic," "her partner, me, was the most horrid thing to walk the earth" (I was right next to her, by the way) and so on an so forth. GET OVER YOURSELF!

Euphoric. This made its way into my day in a very simple manner, yet it was wonderful. What made my day euphoric was that a miracle happened: I aced my Science quiz! Science is my second worst subject (next to math) so this was wonderful. I am so proud of myself. This was really unexpected too because I didn’t even read the thing the test was on. OH HAPPY DAY! I’M A GENIUS!!

Comments are better than finding out you’re a secret genius :)

Love,

Maria

Them…and me (A Ranting Blog)

A/N: Please ignore the obvious grammar mistake in my title. Yeah, I know that's incorrect. Get off my back.

My friend Jade has been urging me to post a new blog, so here it is. Here is my blog. My angry, whiny, over sensitive blog. ENJOY IT! I know I will. Believe it. Oh? What’s that? You say you sense bitterness and hostility in my words? DAMN RIGHT YOU DO!! Damn right! You remember that one time i said i don't like to cuss to my readers. I changed my mind. What i want to write is what i want to write. No one is making you read this right now. The end.

So now you must be wondering, “What has made my dear Maria write in such a manner? What could possibly be wrong?” Well, first of all, back off. I’m not your dear Maria, so just shut up. Second of all, what could possibly be wrong? Just the same damn thing that is always wrong, I guess. No one cares about how I feel. No, wait, let me rephrase that: No one in my FAMILY cares about how I feel. Did I qualify that enough for you? Good.

So what’s got my knickers in a knot? Bugs. Simple as that. You see, I have an irrational fear of bugs, Silverfish and Spiders especially, but just bugs in general. Because of this fear, I am absolutely terrified whenever I find a bug anywhere near me. I am equally scared of killing them as well. I believe I have told you all before that my room is Silverfish friendly, yes? Well, I asked my mom about a week ago to call the exterminator, and she did. He came and sprayed today. So, naturally, I was in quite good spirits when I came home from being downtown in the city all day.

We were all eating dinner, chatting and smiling about how we wouldn’t (hopefully) see any more Silverfish. In a state of felicity, I said, “I am so glad that they’ll be gone. Now I won’t have to sleep on the couch anymore.” Then my dad gave me this sort of smirk and asked, “You’ve been sleeping on the couch this whole time over a bunch of bugs?” So I replied that, in fact, I’d only been sleeping on the couch when I happened to spot a Silverfish in my room. Then he started to laugh and laugh. “Why are you so scared of them anyway? What can they possibly do to you?” he inquired, while chuckling at me. Then I was on the defensive and, not wanting to be ridiculed any longer, I gave him my honest answer while hoping that he would understand. “They can fall from the ceiling onto my bed—as always!” That put him over the edge. In a matter of moments, the whole dinner table--my FAMILY--was clutching their stomachs with laughter. All of them laughing at me. All of them cracking jokes and snide comments at me.

They couldn’t see it, but I was really insulted and just…hurt. Hurt by their lack of sympathy or, at the very least, sensitivity to my fears. Hurt that not one of them cared how I felt in that moment or, just, ever. So I stood up, making a show of cleaning off my plate so that they wouldn’t see the water begging to come from my eyes. ARGH!! They just wouldn’t stop! Joke after hurtful joke was made at my expense and when I turned back to the table they were all saying one after the other “Suck it up!” My father was giving me condescending instructions on how to kill a bug, my little sister was telling of how she once had to kill a spider for me because I was crying. It never ended.

“It’s called an Irrational Fear for a reason! I don’t know why they scare me so much, they JUST DO!” I wanted to shout, but I knew that if I opened my mouth I would start to cry and then my dad would smirk and say, “My god! Get a handle on your emotions.” (He always says that whenever I cry.) Just another example of them not caring. So, instead of listening to him say that, I just walked up here, ready to chew out the world.

I must say, I feel a bit better, though I’m not up to a level of emotion where I can go back down stairs yet. I think I will just play Sims for a while (that game is beast!). I like that game a lot. I’m thinking about getting Sims 3, but it’s slightly out of my price range. We’ll just have to see what happens, I suppose.

Sorry if reading this made you roll your eyes at my dramatic telling of what happened. If it did, well, I have nothing nice to say to you. I’m sorry but that [points to the top-ish middle-ish of my blog] is how I feel right now and if you don’t like it then take your reading eyes elsewhere. I don’t want to write for someone whom I can’t satisfy.

Thanks again for reading. I don’t know if anyone is reading this (besides Jade, that is), but if you are you have no idea how much it means to me. Really. Thank you.

Comments are better than being made fun of by your own family

Love,

Maria

This Blogs colors are dedicated to Heath Ledger's The Joker. I love both Heath Ledger AND The Joker. Rock on you two!

Going back to when I said all my thoughts are yours to hear, this blog might be a bit more bizarre than usual…at least at first. I’ll be talking about my frequent “That is a bad idea…let’s do it!” moments, my obsessive compulsive disorder—or my tendencies to act in such a way, facebook and my detaching myself from it, the current fad in pop-culture, dress-codes and how much they suck straws (yes, I just said that. I know, I know. I’m lame. What can I do? :P ), and my ongoing new year’s resolution.

Have you ever thought something and you know that it’s a bad idea and yet you continue to dwell on this yet-do-be-done act despite this? I do this all the time. For instance, just ten minutes ago I took some pain meds because I had a headache, and then I thought, “Gosh I love to take swallowing pills. It makes me feel so grown-up. I really want to take some more…” And that’s how it is for me. It always starts out as something simple like noticing that there is a small, uncovered, blue fan on the back of my computer and then my mind goes insane. “What a pretty fan! I just want to touch it! Look at it there spinning round and round and round. Wouldn’t it be fun to stick my finger in there?” Thank goodness for that little Lepre-Corn (Leprechaun slash Unicorn. Come on people. Major duh!) who plays my conscience. “No, Maria! It is not a good idea to use those metal tongs to get the toast out of the toaster, even if it means your fingers will be spared from touching the hot bread.” (Yes, I actually do that. Good thing Lady Luck is on my side, otherwise who knows when I would have died from doing some senseless thing like that.) But do you see what I am trying to say? I just get these bad ideas all the time. It’s horrible! Do you have those moments? What sort of moronic ideas do you get?

I don’t know if I have mentioned this before, but I am very OCD. I’m not sure if I legitimately have obsessive compulsive disorder, but I do have the reactions and tendencies of someone who does. I have to have the refrigerator magnets a certain way, the dishes in the dishwasher must be placed a specific way otherwise I go mad, things of that nature. Just earlier my sister, Risa (fake name), was eating milk and cookies—good stuff, that is—and she had the milk jug sitting on the island right on the edge with the cap carelessly thrown on the counter top. This really irritated me so I asked her to please put the cap on it and, if not put it away, at least move it further away from the edge. At first she ignored me, then, upon seeing my discomfort, she placed the cap on the top of the jug—being sure not to put the cap down securely—and moved it impossibly closer to the edge of the counter. It bugged me to no end. I knew she was provoking me but I couldn’t help it, I flew across the room, slammed the cap on tight, and put it away inside the fridge. I’m like this with many other things. Tags. I cannot stand it if someone’s tag is sticking out. Once, while in a store, I saw this young woman with her tag sticking out and so I ran to stick it back under the shirt where it belonged. Let me just say I never got a thank you for my deed. Now I only push tags in for people I actually know. One of these days I want to know if I seriously am OCD, just to get it off my mind.

What is it with Facebook? I have one, and, I admit, I used to be very attached to it, but now I find no appeal whatsoever toward it. The site bores me. It’s a nice way to speak with friends without having to leave the comfort of your home, sure. But it doesn’t have the same hold on me that it once did. I was very competitive with facebook a while back. I had to have the most friends, the best score on the games, the most statuses posted within the hour, ect. ect. I’ve decided I no longer care. What good comes of never leaving your computer anyway? All I’ve received for my diligence to facebook is a loss of social interaction and a major procrastination problem. I’ve decided to, slowly with time, detach myself from facebook. This starts with my contacts. I deleted all but 62 people whom I talk to and/or see on a regular basis. I am so proud of myself n_n Are you addicted?

So I realized something about three days ago. I was thinking about past and present fads when I suddenly thought of a fad that I hadn’t even thought of as a fad until that moment. All this obsession with fantasy. This fad has been in effect for quite some time but I believe that, at this point in time, it is at its peak of popularity. Think about it. All you see and hear about nowadays are books on wizards and vampires and people with special abilities. You go watch a tv show or movie and fantasy is just oozing out of the screen, screaming in your ears to sit and pay attention, whispering to you “You enjoy this don’t you? Watch some more. It's what everyone is into...” I’ve seen whole groups of people, college students actually, who have organized a big game of playing zombies at their campus. Fad. Now I’m not about to imply that I have not taken part in this fad. I have, I admit. But—my god! It’s unbelievable how much this fad has grown. The fact that I hadn’t even realized this was a fad until three days ago speaks for itself. With this insight comes the fun part, however. Now that I am aware of the current situation, I can move past this crowd of followers and make and think a whole new way. I am prepared to move past this and start a new trend. All this time I thought I was original but it turns out I was just one of a million flocking sheep. No more though. I now have the great weapon of knowledge ;)

All right, it’s complaining time with Maria. [Cue’s random theme song] Let’s talk about dress-codes for a minute, shall we? To be blunt, dress-codes suck straws! (I said it again. Give the blogger a prize! [Random plane flies buy, dropping off a mini parachute with a tiny trophy in the shape of a B for blogger.] Oh wow! I’d like to thank my mom, my dad, and all the members of the academy…) I think I talked briefly with you all about how I’m going to a thing called Teenpact, yes? (Coming up in two days, yikes!) Well, Teenpact haS a dress-code and I completely hate it. The youth attending are to dress “professionally.” Let me break down what that means (the dress-code for the ladies, that is. I have no idea what to say about the guys' dress-code.). Girls must wear skirts (or dresses) and those skirts must stop below the knee…even while sitting. What kind of bullshark is that?!! (yes, I just said “bullshark” as opposed to “bullsh**” Another silly substitute curse word to add to your long list of things to steal from me, eh? I don’t believe in cussing out my readers, so no making fun of me, ‘kay?) Do these people know how hard it is to find a skirt/dress that length? It’s next to impossible! Also, I don’t know about them, but I was born wearing jeans! (This is a total lie. I was born naked just like the rest of you. You should know by now not to take me too seriously.) I am not comfortable wearing a skirt all day long! Next on their ludicrous list of things to take away along with my dignity: all shoes must be either flats (yuk!) or heels (okay.). Know what that means? No converse shoes—I was also born in those—and no flip-flops which would have been my alternative to no converse. What the flip is wrong with these freaks?! Take away all I love why don’t you? So, I have decided to “stick it to the man.” I am going to accessorize. That means ribbons, pins, buttons, studded belts, rings, bracelets, rainbow eye shadow, face paint—the works. Any ideas on how to use this loophole for al it’s worth? Leave a comment with your suggestions :)

Last topic for the day: New Year’s Resolutions. Do you make one? I don’t usually make one—well; I don’t make new ones, that is. Every year for the past three years I have made the same resolution: to own/have every song, artist, and album I have ever wanted and currently want. I didn’t do much in the way of accomplishing this because I am always broke so it’s really rare for me to be able to buy music. But last Spring I discovered something that changed my life forever. The library isn’t just good for getting books. They have CD’s too, who knew? Not I. So I went from having 200 odd songs to 2000 odd songs. It’s wonderful, this library thing. Great for poor people like me who are much to lazy and pressed for time to get a job. I’m not done, though. There are still hundreds more bands and artists I want, and so many more to discover!

Listening to: Silver Speak by Blindside

Chewing: Orbit Spearmint gum, my favorite.

Writing: This

Reading: What I’m writing

Thinking about: How dreadful my handwriting is (I’m currently writing this by hand. I’ll type this up later.)

Getting ready to: Go shopping for things to beef-up my Teenpact wardrobe ;)

Comments are better than saying “Bullshark!” and “Sucks Straws!”

Love,

Maria

The Vain, Cat Lady Prodigy, Wrinkle-free, College bound blogger

Dear Blog,

Mood: Apathetic.

My life is spiraling downward. I couldn't get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry concert. It sucks 'cause they play some of my favorite songs like 'Stab My Heart Because I Love You' and 'Rip Apart My Soul' and of course, 'Stabby Rip Stab Stab'. And it doesn't help that I couldn't get my hair to do that flippy thingy. Like that guy from that band can do. Some days, you know...

Haha, alright. No more silly music quotes (that was a direct reference to I Must Be Emo by Hollywood Undead, if you didn’t catch that). I’ll be serious now, I promise J Well, as the title says, I am going to be getting a bit vain on here, at least for a few minutes. I think we all deserve to be vain once in a while though, so this is okay, right? Right. If you’d rather not read a whole paragraph about my complimenting myself, then just skip this next one ;)

Well, this morning I discovered something. I am really really pretty (…in my own way.). I woke up, looked in the mirror and, I don’t know. It was like something in my mind just…clicked. And then, BAM! It hit me, all those times people had told me I was pretty (though, admiringly, that’s only happened about three times.), they weren’t searching for a compliment for themselves. They were telling me the truth! Even if they weren’t and I’m just thinking about this too much, this realization that I am fairly attractive is a new feeling for me. I like this. Some of the things I notice about myself while coming to this discovery, I have naturally straight teeth (which I knew anyway because my parents are always happy that I won’t need braces), I have really big brown eyes and long lashes to match. Although you can’t really see my eyes because of my glasses, when I took them off my eyes were extremely pretty. Also, my curly hair which I have hated my whole life up until last year (and I still only half liked it then), looks really good on me and compliments my face shape. I have amazingly clear skin. And, lastly, something I have never noticed before, I have these beautiful high cheek bones. How could I have not noticed all this?! I’m not sure what made me see how beautiful I am, but I like this feeling.

Alright, now onto the next topic. Animals. For some unknown reason, almost all animals I encounter love me. Am I a cat lady prodigy or something? It is my destiny to be that odd old woman whom owns so many birds she might as well go live in the woods? All I know is, nearly every time I go to hang out with a friend for the first or second time, their animals take a liking to me. Example? Well, you remember my friend Alice, right? Well, Alice has two cats and a dog. On my second time to spend the night at her house, we were both playing the video game Kingdom Hearts (great game, by the way). Well, halfway through the game her cat Noel came by us and Alice picked her up and placed her on my lap. Obviously, she was expecting Noel to just jump right out of my lap. Noel stayed there for three hours. The only reason she jumped off my lap after three hours was because I was currently fighting a REALLY FREAKING HARD boss and I was getting a bit too into it and therefore startled her. Later, Alice told me that it was really rare for Noel to sit on friends’ laps; even sometimes she doesn’t like being in Alice’s lap. And other example: an old friend of mine, Natalie (fake name), had ten pets. One of those pets was a very vicious dog who hated everyone’s guts. Samuel, I think was his name. He’d snap at anyone he saw, including Natalie. Well, Natalie and I had been swimming outside all day so I decided to take a nap in the shade for a while. I wake up and there is Samuel sleeping on top of my legs. Last example: (this happened recently) I was spending the night at Jade’s house and we both wound down around 1 ish. I wake up sometime in the morning and there, snuggled up next to my face underneath the pillow with me (I sleep with my head under the pillow. Don’t ask why, I just do.), is Jade’s dog Jallie. I was surprised at first but then I just went back to sleep. When I woke up again she was down at the bottom of the bed by our feet. I must be some kind of animal whisperer, that’s all I can make out of this.

College. The thing that has all of us high school students cowering in corners, crying tears for our mothers. Yes, that dreadful place that farces you to learn things for another four years. Just when you're think your threw with education and al it entitles, you find out that there is, in fact, four more years to endure. College [cringe]. Well, this horrendous thing that everyone is afraid and stressed about, I am actually quite excited for. Now some of you may say, “Maria, how can this be?” I shall tell you. The answer is simple really. Seven syllables, four words, two statements: No parents. Total freedom. Yesterday I went to go get my hair cut and my hair stylist, Karen (fake name), was talking about college. And so, sitting there in my little chair waiting for my turn, I began to Google a bunch of colleges specializing in what I’m interested in. When I go to college I am either going to major in Latin and minor in psychology, or major in psychology and minor in Latin. Either one, I’m happy with. While I am gifted in both writing and art, I realize that I am not good enough to pursue these as careers, so I’ve chosen those two, both of which I have a passion for. I’m not sure exactly where I want to go to college yet but I do know that I want to live on campus and would really prefer it was not in this state (Sorry dad. Your little girl is leaving this cage whether you like it or not!).

Tan vs. Pale. Which one is best? Tan makes you look pretty (as long as it’s not over done and looks natural), but so does being pale. Honestly, I can’t think of too many arguments in favor of tanning. All I have to say is that pale is just as nice looking as being pale (once again, as long as it’s not over done.), pale people won’t get skin cancer from being out in the sun all day and all night, and pale people will look much MUCH better than tan people will when they are old and grey. All of you tan people will be the most wrinkly and revolting elders on the block, whereas all of us pretty white porcelain dolls will have smooth spotless skin. Hah! We win

Irrational fears. What can we say about them except that they are, well, irrational! I watched a video recently where a girl was demonstrating one of her irrational fears. What are your irrational fears? Here are some of my silly fears and paranoia’s:

· When I kill a bug, its family will hunt me down a kill me.

· When I take a shower a serial killer will burst into my bathroom and kill me…naked! No! Let me put clothes on first, please!!

· I will play my music a bit too loud and the glass in my glasses will break and then get into my eyes and then I will become blind.

· There is a man from the CIA listening in on all of my phone calls.

· Everything enjoyable that I eat has some secret ingredient that’s really gross like bugs (fact: most red dye is made from a certain species of bugs. You will find I don’t make a habit of eating red things that have been altered in any way.)

· When watching tv, the people on the tv can actually see me.

· When I go to sleep, all my stuffed animals and everything in my room with a face comes to life. (I try to be as nice to my stuffed animals as I can.)

· When I buy new clothes/shoes/anything I try and make a good first impression on them so that they don’t decide they don’t like me and either run away and I never see them again, or they decide to rip/break so I can’t use them.

· Because of my first fear on here, sometimes I give a dead bug a mini funeral to show my respects.

· My mother is actually the terminator in disguise and is just waiting for the right moment to kill me.

· I can never sleep if my little sister’s (i share a room with my younger sister) face is angled toward me. I have to wake her up and make her face the other way otherwise I feel as if when I close my eyes she is looking at me, ready to kill me.

· I can never have any door to the room I am in open, otherwise I feel as if the moment I turn my back on the door someone is standing there staring at me.

I have a TON more, but this list is getting fairly long, so I’ll just stop here. Hope I didn’t bore you all to tears. Goodbye, until later J

Comments are better than pale skin

Love,

Maria