Dear Blog,
Mood: Apathetic.
My life is spiraling downward. I couldn't get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry concert. It sucks 'cause they play some of my favorite songs like 'Stab My Heart Because I Love You' and 'Rip Apart My Soul' and of course, 'Stabby Rip Stab Stab'. And it doesn't help that I couldn't get my hair to do that flippy thingy. Like that guy from that band can do. Some days, you know...
Haha, alright. No more silly music quotes (that was a direct reference to I Must Be Emo by Hollywood Undead, if you didn’t catch that). I’ll be serious now, I promise J Well, as the title says, I am going to be getting a bit vain on here, at least for a few minutes. I think we all deserve to be vain once in a while though, so this is okay, right? Right. If you’d rather not read a whole paragraph about my complimenting myself, then just skip this next one ;)
Well, this morning I discovered something. I am really really pretty (…in my own way.). I woke up, looked in the mirror and, I don’t know. It was like something in my mind just…clicked. And then, BAM! It hit me, all those times people had told me I was pretty (though, admiringly, that’s only happened about three times.), they weren’t searching for a compliment for themselves. They were telling me the truth! Even if they weren’t and I’m just thinking about this too much, this realization that I am fairly attractive is a new feeling for me. I like this. Some of the things I notice about myself while coming to this discovery, I have naturally straight teeth (which I knew anyway because my parents are always happy that I won’t need braces), I have really big brown eyes and long lashes to match. Although you can’t really see my eyes because of my glasses, when I took them off my eyes were extremely pretty. Also, my curly hair which I have hated my whole life up until last year (and I still only half liked it then), looks really good on me and compliments my face shape. I have amazingly clear skin. And, lastly, something I have never noticed before, I have these beautiful high cheek bones. How could I have not noticed all this?! I’m not sure what made me see how beautiful I am, but I like this feeling.
Alright, now onto the next topic. Animals. For some unknown reason, almost all animals I encounter love me. Am I a cat lady prodigy or something? It is my destiny to be that odd old woman whom owns so many birds she might as well go live in the woods? All I know is, nearly every time I go to hang out with a friend for the first or second time, their animals take a liking to me. Example? Well, you remember my friend Alice, right? Well, Alice has two cats and a dog. On my second time to spend the night at her house, we were both playing the video game Kingdom Hearts (great game, by the way). Well, halfway through the game her cat Noel came by us and Alice picked her up and placed her on my lap. Obviously, she was expecting Noel to just jump right out of my lap. Noel stayed there for three hours. The only reason she jumped off my lap after three hours was because I was currently fighting a REALLY FREAKING HARD boss and I was getting a bit too into it and therefore startled her. Later, Alice told me that it was really rare for Noel to sit on friends’ laps; even sometimes she doesn’t like being in Alice’s lap. And other example: an old friend of mine, Natalie (fake name), had ten pets. One of those pets was a very vicious dog who hated everyone’s guts. Samuel, I think was his name. He’d snap at anyone he saw, including Natalie. Well, Natalie and I had been swimming outside all day so I decided to take a nap in the shade for a while. I wake up and there is Samuel sleeping on top of my legs. Last example: (this happened recently) I was spending the night at Jade’s house and we both wound down around 1 ish. I wake up sometime in the morning and there, snuggled up next to my face underneath the pillow with me (I sleep with my head under the pillow. Don’t ask why, I just do.), is Jade’s dog Jallie. I was surprised at first but then I just went back to sleep. When I woke up again she was down at the bottom of the bed by our feet. I must be some kind of animal whisperer, that’s all I can make out of this.
College. The thing that has all of us high school students cowering in corners, crying tears for our mothers. Yes, that dreadful place that farces you to learn things for another four years. Just when you're think your threw with education and al it entitles, you find out that there is, in fact, four more years to endure. College [cringe]. Well, this horrendous thing that everyone is afraid and stressed about, I am actually quite excited for. Now some of you may say, “Maria, how can this be?” I shall tell you. The answer is simple really. Seven syllables, four words, two statements: No parents. Total freedom. Yesterday I went to go get my hair cut and my hair stylist, Karen (fake name), was talking about college. And so, sitting there in my little chair waiting for my turn, I began to Google a bunch of colleges specializing in what I’m interested in. When I go to college I am either going to major in Latin and minor in psychology, or major in psychology and minor in Latin. Either one, I’m happy with. While I am gifted in both writing and art, I realize that I am not good enough to pursue these as careers, so I’ve chosen those two, both of which I have a passion for. I’m not sure exactly where I want to go to college yet but I do know that I want to live on campus and would really prefer it was not in this state (Sorry dad. Your little girl is leaving this cage whether you like it or not!).
Tan vs. Pale. Which one is best? Tan makes you look pretty (as long as it’s not over done and looks natural), but so does being pale. Honestly, I can’t think of too many arguments in favor of tanning. All I have to say is that pale is just as nice looking as being pale (once again, as long as it’s not over done.), pale people won’t get skin cancer from being out in the sun all day and all night, and pale people will look much MUCH better than tan people will when they are old and grey. All of you tan people will be the most wrinkly and revolting elders on the block, whereas all of us pretty white porcelain dolls will have smooth spotless skin. Hah! We win
Irrational fears. What can we say about them except that they are, well, irrational! I watched a video recently where a girl was demonstrating one of her irrational fears. What are your irrational fears? Here are some of my silly fears and paranoia’s:
· When I kill a bug, its family will hunt me down a kill me.
· When I take a shower a serial killer will burst into my bathroom and kill me…naked! No! Let me put clothes on first, please!!
· I will play my music a bit too loud and the glass in my glasses will break and then get into my eyes and then I will become blind.
· There is a man from the CIA listening in on all of my phone calls.
· Everything enjoyable that I eat has some secret ingredient that’s really gross like bugs (fact: most red dye is made from a certain species of bugs. You will find I don’t make a habit of eating red things that have been altered in any way.)
· When watching tv, the people on the tv can actually see me.
· When I go to sleep, all my stuffed animals and everything in my room with a face comes to life. (I try to be as nice to my stuffed animals as I can.)
· When I buy new clothes/shoes/anything I try and make a good first impression on them so that they don’t decide they don’t like me and either run away and I never see them again, or they decide to rip/break so I can’t use them.
· Because of my first fear on here, sometimes I give a dead bug a mini funeral to show my respects.
· My mother is actually the terminator in disguise and is just waiting for the right moment to kill me.
· I can never sleep if my little sister’s (i share a room with my younger sister) face is angled toward me. I have to wake her up and make her face the other way otherwise I feel as if when I close my eyes she is looking at me, ready to kill me.
· I can never have any door to the room I am in open, otherwise I feel as if the moment I turn my back on the door someone is standing there staring at me.
I have a TON more, but this list is getting fairly long, so I’ll just stop here. Hope I didn’t bore you all to tears. Goodbye, until later J
Comments are better than pale skin
Love,
Maria
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