What's The Point Anymore?

Alright everyone. This whole blog is going to be about Mr. Milky Way, so prepare yourselves.

I had spent all day yesterday and parts of today writing down on a little green sticky note all the things i wanted to talk about with you guys. I wanted to talk about funny and ironic last names, like how my dentist's name is Dr. Battle (No joke. Seriously, that's his name.); I wanted to talk about conversations with old friends that are convinced you're still their best friend; I wanted to talk about TeenPact, which is this fun Government thing i am going to for the second time now (Don't get me wrong. I absolutely loath anything Government, but this IS fun. Trust me.); I was going to talk about my newest favorite youtuber Charlieissocoolike, who, by the way, is British which is a major plus; and I wanted to talk about my favorite and least favorite accents. But before i was going to post all that on here, i paused to get onto facebook.com for a moment and just check on all my notifications and such. I was in an extremely crappy mood because my dad had just given me a vary hard time for not setting the table for dinner, for not getting him a plate, for not serving him his food, for not cleaning up after him--just because your wife is momentarily gone doesn't mean i have to fill in her shoes! Both she and i are not your maids. GET OFF YOUR LAZY BUTT AND GET A STUPID PLATE YOURSELF! Any way, so because of that i was most definitely not in a good mood and i really just wanted to swear the world senseless, when i noticed that Milky Way had tried to message me an hour ago when i was on facebook briefly. He had said "____!! Ello?" ('___' is my name in all caps.). When i looked at that i noticed that he was still on so i immediately said "hey ____" as always. And i was still fuming right now, but then he said something, and maybe it's just because i'm utterly head over heels for him, but it instantly made me smile so big--i'm glad no one was around to see me smile like an idiot. He said "Omg, finally!" And just like that, it was like the god of happiness had snapped his fingers in front of my face and whispered into my ear "just smile and enjoy this." Oh boy, did i. I was grinning all the way through our conversation. Usually when i talk to him there are lots of lulls because he doesn't really make it a habit of contributing to the conversations, but sometimes he will be in an unusually enthusiastic mood and he will just talk with me, no awkward "Yah"s, or "ok"s, or "lol"s--like he did today. Just me and him talking. I wish he would loosen up like that more often. We played the game i made up a long time ago (i think i made it up when i was talking to him, now that i think of it...) called "Random Q's" and, basically, i just ask him a lot of random questions and then if he thinks of any he'll ask me some too. I love it. It's the only way i can for sure get him to talk. I had been messing around on facebook while talking with him, becoming fan of stuff mostly--side note, i am now a fan of 1,947 pages--when i turned back to the main page with all the news feeds of my friends, when i saw something that just broke my heart. "Milky Way (facebook said his actually name, of course, but you know what i mean) and Atrocious Amber are married <3">Milky Way. likes. Amber. And then the realization sunk even deeper. Milky Way has posted on facebook that he and Amber are married. ...Amber and Milky Way are married. ...Milky Way is happy about this. ...Milky Way and Amber are married on facebook and he is happy about this. And then i was hit with an overwhelming sadness and frustration and anger and depression-- I don't even know how to describe it. All i can say is that I felt, well, feel, absolutely and without a doubt heartbroken. Milky Way has liked Amber for three or so years. He's not suddenly going to give up on her and run to me. That's just not going to happen. They've broken up once and he's still in love. I've been trying so hard, perhaps not hard enough but... i don't know. I'm just really....heartbroken. This complete awareness of him and the depth of how much he likes her is just..... i don't know what to say about this feeling anymore. My vocabulary isn't big enough to help me with this.

That's all i really feel like typing. If i think about this anymore i just know i'm going to cry. Oh no, my eyes are already welling up. Talk to you tomorrow

Comments are better than anything thing at this point

Sincerly,

Me